sleepless in Loomis

So I've not been keeping up with my writing at all.  I feel guilty about it.  I can't figure out why I feel guilty about it, it must be the Catholic upbringing.

It's coming up on time for another trip to Mexico.  I was just reflecting on my last trip.  I was miserable.  I had just broken off a relationship with a man I was head over heels for and still crying over him.  However, I didn't want anyone to see how miserable I was over some guy who'd treated me so miserably.  I was so busy hiding my pain I forgot to lean on the Lord for my solace and comfort.  Once I remembered that I got over him really quick, the guy not the Lord.

Once I got back on my feet I did some introspection and am not sure I like what I saw.

I read a variety of blogs, some of them I follow rather "religiously."  One I really enjoy is written by a gentleman named Spence Kennedy.  You can find him here: Siren Voices.  Spence writes real posts, descriptions of little slices of his life, completely awesome writing.  Anyways, in his most recent post Spence writes of how he began to feel very sick while  riding a train home.  And to quote him upon arriving home, "An atheist, I thank God with every fibre of my being that I am home, miraculously brought back here, away from the train of despair, to this blessed place where I can be myself and do whatever I need to recover."   The little piece I found so amazing was actually not written by Spence but was in one of the comments to this post.  Jacksofbuxton said, "A friend of mine, a doctor, once told me that when serious illness strikes atheists find God and people of faith temporarily lose theirs." 

I was stricken, is that how I live my life?  Do I choose to walk with God only when my life is going well?  Some of my past behavior certainly supports that theory, but some of it definitely does not.  The important thing is... how am I going to live my life in the future?  Will I choose to walk in companionship to the Lord or will I choose to go my own way?  I stand at a crossroads, but then, in reality, every moment of every day is a crossroads.  Some days the choice of which path to take is easy, other days it is the most difficult decision of my life.  Lately, it has been difficult.  But Jesus never promised us easy, He only promised to walk with us.  So today I am going to be like a young child, I am going to run up alongside of Him, grasp his hand and follow Him down that path. 

Tati, one of my friends from Restoration Ministries in Brazil will be at Lakeside's 11:00 a.m. service on Sunday.  I am not sure I will be able to raise enough support to make it to Brazil again this summer but maybe if I start now I can go again next...