Rainy Days and Sundays

Today I should have been packing for my move.  Instead I spent most of the day working on a painting I started 4 weeks ago.  As a matter of fact, I started it on the day I first knew there was a problem between Wayne and I.  I had been suspecting it for some time but that day I knew.  I was considering not finishing it because it holds terrible memories of Wayne for me but right now I am rather glad I've been working on it.  It looks rather nice.  It has some good colors in it and some blending that looks really nice.  I'm probably going to have to sell it when I'm done but that's okay. 

Yesterday was blood platelet donation day, also the only time I ever weigh myself.  I do that deliberately so I don't obsess over the numbers on the scale.  I was down from 171 pounds to 166.  That's 5 pounds in 2 weeks, just a tad too fast.  But it does put me at a BMI of 25.2 and 25.0 is consider a "normal" weight.  Now if I can just keep up the good eating habits and not revert back I should be okay.

I also took a long walk in the rain yesterday.  I walked from my apartment to the site where I crashed my bike, about 4 miles each way.  Hmmm, somewhere I had the idea it was 5 but I just recalculated, it's 4, maybe a little bit more but not a whole lot.  I had my big polka dot umbrella, I love the sound the rain makes on my umbrella, and on the path and the trees and bushes and river and...

As I was crossing the river I watched the fish under the water like I did last week.  The difference yesterday was that the fish were jumping.  I saw some pretty good sized fish, too.  I was thinking about how last week I wanted to jump from the bridge.  My life was so painful I didn't want to go on.  Well, I still wanted to jump this week but not as badly as I did last week.  That's progress, right?  I have more joy in my life this week than I did last.  Not as much as I did a month ago when I was still with Wayne but I am working my way back to happy and joyful again.  I've prayed and prayed for the Lord to either restore our relationship or get that man out of my head.  So far, neither one has happened. 

Well, I need to go to sleep now if I'm going to work tomorrow.  The herbs are still doing their trick, as a matter of fact I am sleeping better and better each night.  That contributes to the joy returning to my life as well.  I would have stayed in bed all day today if I'd had someone to cuddle with.  Rainy days are good for that.